You are here because you are wondering how to save a relationship, your relationship. Maybe one or both of you works long hours. No matter, the question is how to save the relationship. Here are 5 important steps on how to save your relationship...
Step 1 - Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?
The first thing you must do is figure out if your relationship is really worth saving. Now, it is true that nearly every relationship can be saved with hard work and commitment from both parties in the relationship. But, both parties must be committed to make it work. If one does not commit to it, then there is little that can be done to save the relationship. And many couples stay in a relationship because it is convenient / easier to do, or, stay because of the children.
How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is really worth saving and not just for the children (although this is important) or convenience sake.
Step 2 - Identify The Root Problem(s) In Your Relationship
Next, you must figure out the problem(s) in your relationship. And I mean the root problem, not the symptom(s). One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people generally mistake the symptoms of the problem for the problem itself. For example, many people think that an affair is a problem that causes break ups. But the affair is a usually a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying partner, who otherwise might not have strayed. While most people look at the 'affair' as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair is the 'lack of intimacy' in the primary relationship. True, you might be able to keep another affair from happening through the use of 'guilt', but another problem could occur simply because you have not dealt with the root problem, the lack of intimacy.
This is only one example, but when you start to deal with the root problems in your relationship and not the symptoms, then your relationship can be saved.
Step 3 - Communicate Effectively
This means listening to your partner's concerns, as well as verbalizing your own feelings and concerns. You can hold your partner's hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are all over the place.
Step 4 - Create An Action Plan
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an agreed actionable plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If it is not possible at this stage to spend an evening together, then agree to commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.
Step 5 - Accept That Saving A Relationship Is An Ongoing Process
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. And be patient.
Step 1 - Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?
The first thing you must do is figure out if your relationship is really worth saving. Now, it is true that nearly every relationship can be saved with hard work and commitment from both parties in the relationship. But, both parties must be committed to make it work. If one does not commit to it, then there is little that can be done to save the relationship. And many couples stay in a relationship because it is convenient / easier to do, or, stay because of the children.
How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is really worth saving and not just for the children (although this is important) or convenience sake.
Step 2 - Identify The Root Problem(s) In Your Relationship
Next, you must figure out the problem(s) in your relationship. And I mean the root problem, not the symptom(s). One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people generally mistake the symptoms of the problem for the problem itself. For example, many people think that an affair is a problem that causes break ups. But the affair is a usually a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying partner, who otherwise might not have strayed. While most people look at the 'affair' as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair is the 'lack of intimacy' in the primary relationship. True, you might be able to keep another affair from happening through the use of 'guilt', but another problem could occur simply because you have not dealt with the root problem, the lack of intimacy.
This is only one example, but when you start to deal with the root problems in your relationship and not the symptoms, then your relationship can be saved.
Step 3 - Communicate Effectively
This means listening to your partner's concerns, as well as verbalizing your own feelings and concerns. You can hold your partner's hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are all over the place.
Step 4 - Create An Action Plan
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an agreed actionable plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If it is not possible at this stage to spend an evening together, then agree to commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.
Step 5 - Accept That Saving A Relationship Is An Ongoing Process
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. And be patient.
0 comments:
Post a Comment